Assess · Speak · Relate · Sustain
Am I Really a Nice Person?
Nobody believes they are the unkind one. That is exactly what makes an honest assessment worth taking, and it is where this book begins.
About the Book
You have met someone who seemed like the nicest person in the world.
The warm greeting, the thoughtful words, the smile that made you feel welcome. And then a moment of stress arrived, and the true colours came out.
Most of us have seen this in a friendship, a workplace, or a family. People can be very good at performing niceness. The uncomfortable question is not whether you have met such a person. It is whether you have been one, without ever noticing.
This book is about the distance between how you are received and who you actually are. It examines what makes kindness genuine and what turns it into a mask, and it asks you to look honestly at your own behaviour rather than at your intentions.
Kindness that is worn is a costume. Kindness that is practised is a character.
The Distinction
Nice is a surface. Kind is a spine.
One distinction sits underneath everything in this book, and it is worth stating before you read a page of it.
Manages how you are received. Says yes when it means no, keeps the peace at the cost of the truth, and quietly stores the resentment somewhere it will surface later, usually at the wrong person.
Willing to be briefly uncomfortable in order to be genuinely useful. Tells you the thing you would rather not hear, and stays in the room afterward.
What You Will Gain
An honest picture of how you actually come across.
You will not be told you are a good person, and you will not be told you are a bad one. You will be given a way to measure something most people never measure, and the tools to change what the measurement shows.
- A 30-statement self-assessment across six categories, scored so you can see where you stand.
- The option to have someone close to you rate you on the same scale, and compare.
- A clear line between politeness and kindness, and the ability to tell which one you are practising.
- Language for the moments where being nice quietly costs you the truth.
- How kindness works differently at work, in friendship, and when it is genuinely difficult.
- How to give feedback that helps rather than wounds, and how to receive it.
- A daily practice, so that kindness becomes a habit rather than a performance.
You cannot control how others behave. You can control what your own behaviour reveals.
I am polite. That is not the same thing.
Stop performing kindness. Start practising it.
What Is Inside
Four parts, eleven chapters, one honest look.
Behind the smile, and the Communication Style Self-Assessment that gives you a baseline.
It begins with words. Speaking with kindness, and communicating from the heart rather than from habit.
Kindness at work, being a genuinely good friend, and what to do when it is not easy.
Feedback as a gift, why your words are your legacy, and building a lifestyle of kindness.
A daily kindness and empathy practice, so the change outlasts the reading.
Before You Buy
This book is not for everyone.
Read this if
- You suspect you say yes when you mean no, and pay for it later.
- You want to know how you actually come across, not how you hope you do.
- You are willing to let someone close to you score you honestly.
- You would rather be useful than comfortable.
Do not read this if
- You want reassurance that you are already a good person.
- You are looking for techniques to be better liked.
- You want the problem to be other people.
- You would rather not see the result of the assessment.
From the Book
How often do we hide our true selves behind a smile, afraid to show who we really are? You may think you know yourself well, but how often have you been surprised by your own actions when emotions take over?
Nobody believes they are the unkind one. That is what makes an honest assessment worth taking.
Take the assessment. Then decide what you think of the answer.
Instant download. The self-assessment is in the first chapter.